intelligent designer

All throughout history, people have always wondered "where do we come from?", "why are we here?" and "how can I get a really good pizza?" - modern science has postulated that all we need to explain these seemingly unsolvable puzzles is an answer.

Luckily, we at intelligent designr think differently - there are no answers - only questions.

Lastly, we here at intelligent designr are not afraid to ask these questions... and get irked when people answer them.

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Who Is The intelligent designr?

Because the intelligent designr must, by definition, be more complex that the designee, we obviously cannot say for sure, but...

Only something massively complex could possibly have designed the universe; what that might be, we don't know - it could be anyone or anything. Many serious electricians, vets, mathematicians, kinesiologists and nutritionists have grappled with this question - it might be space aliens, it might be hyper-bunnies from a higher dimension or it might be some sort of invisible, omnipotent being that created the universe and then sat back and chilled for a bit. We honestly don't know, although we're hedging our bets on the latter (the invisible, omnipotent being that created the universe and then sat back and chilled for a bit guy).

Who Are We?

Like all pure science driven groups, chances are you've never heard of us.

intelligent designr is a small band of people, passionately dedicated to removing science from science classes and replacing it with something else that we haven't quite figured out yet, but we can make it sound impressive nonetheless.

What about Science?

Lamentably, the definition of science is "a system of knowledge, based on the natural world". Humbug! By defining science so scientifically, scientists have, deliberately and calculatingly, said that we can't call hyper-bunnies from a higher dimension science. This is blatantly unfair, so we propose changing the definition of science to include such things as hyper-bunnies from a higher dimension, space aliens or invisible omnipotent beings.

Is intelligent designr Religion?

Obviously, the intelligent designr theory might appear to be religious in nature, but, we here at intelligent designr resent that implication - just because we personally think it might be some sort of invisible, omnipotent being that created the universe and then sat back and chilled for a bit, does not mean that the intelligent designr theory is religion. I meant, it might be hyper-bunnies from a higher dimension, and nobody worships them, do they?

Chiefly, the tenet in the intelligent designr theory is "unlessenable complicatedness" - the theory that stuff is so complicated (tax returns, mountains, quantum theory, rules of dating, etc) that they must have been created complicatedly by an intelligent designr and cannot be made less complicated, otherwise they just wouldn't work anymore.

What About Evolution?

Knowledgable evolution proponents cannot explain the formation of mountains, the sky or pizza, so it is not a valid scientific theory. For over 150 years, since the time of Darles Charwin, we have been taught that evolution can explain everything from the shape of jellyfish to the football scores on saturdays. Evolution is nothing but dogma, catma and hamsterma propagated by the scientific community to deliberately exclude hyper-bunnies from a higher dimension.

What intelligent designr Proposes

Science needs to change - Our elite group of friendly scienticians at intelligent designr propose a change in the rules of science. These rule changes are to enable intelligent designr to be taught in science classes instead of evolution.

These rules changes are:

  1. Allowing the theory of hyper-bunnies from a higher dimension as genuine science.

  2. The word "scientist" to be replaced with "scientician".

  3. Replacing the word "evolution" in textbooks with "magical shape changing over time - yeah, right".

  4. All science teachers must accept Jesus into their hearts to be allowed to continue to teach science.

  5. Invisible, omnipotent beings must be taken as read and no evidence to the contrary must ever be presented.

  6. Criticism of "magical shape changing over time - yeah, right" is science.

  7. Only intelligent designr approved scienticians will be allowed to teach.

  8. Scienticians from intelligent designr do not have to publish (or indeed even do) any research ever.

  9. Other so-called "creation" stories are to be considered myths and/or heretical and any proponents of them are to be considered "fundamentalists".

  10. That "unlessenable complicatedness" be considered a valid replacement for "magical shape changing over time - yeah, right".